So, you’re trying to move forward. Maybe you’ve had the difficult conversations. Maybe you’ve worked out a parenting plan or talked about dividing things up. But now you’re stuck. Your spouse won’t sign the separation agreement — or won’t even talk about it.
It’s frustrating. It’s confusing. And it can feel like your entire life is on hold.
If you’re in Ontario and wondering what happens if your spouse won’t sign a separation agreement, you’re not alone — and you’re not without options. Let’s unpack what this means, what it doesn’t, and how to move forward when one person is ready to separate and the other isn’t playing ball.
This isn’t legal advice, but it is grounded, Ontario-specific information to help you get clarity during a tough time.
First, What Is a Separation Agreement — and Why Does It Matter?
A separation agreement is a written contract between two spouses (married or common-law) that lays out how things will be handled now that you’re no longer together.
It typically covers:
- Parenting time and decision-making
- Child support and spousal support
- Division of property and debts
- What happens to the family home
In Ontario, you don’t need a separation agreement to be considered “separated.” But having one gives you structure — and legal protection — especially if you’re not applying for divorce right away.
But here’s the kicker: for a separation agreement to be valid, both spouses have to sign it willingly. That’s where things can get sticky.
What If They Just… Refuse to Sign?
It’s incredibly common: one person wants to settle things formally, and the other avoids, delays, or flat-out refuses.
Here’s the good news: you can still move forward.
A separation agreement is ideal, but it’s not the only way to resolve family law issues in Ontario. If your spouse won’t sign, you have other tools available.
Let’s break down your options.
Option 1: Try Mediation (If It’s Safe)
Sometimes people don’t sign because they feel overwhelmed, angry, confused, or just plain stubborn. A neutral third-party mediator can help break the deadlock.
Mediation in Ontario:
- Is confidential and voluntary
- Can happen virtually or in person
- Is typically faster and cheaper than court
- Works best when both people are safe and emotionally able to participate
You don’t need a lawyer to attend mediation — but it’s wise to get legal advice before agreeing to anything.
Still no signature? Time to escalate.
Option 2: Collaborative Family Law
This is a process where both spouses work with their own lawyers in a non-court setting to resolve issues respectfully and privately.
If your spouse is avoiding conflict or court, collaborative law can feel like a less threatening path — but it still leads to a signed, enforceable agreement.
It only works if they’re willing to participate. If not, we’re heading toward…
Option 3: Go to Court and Let a Judge Decide
If your spouse refuses to negotiate or sign an agreement, you can still apply to the Ontario family court for decisions on things like:
- Parenting time and responsibilities
- Child support or spousal support
- Division of property under the Family Law Act
You don’t need their signature or permission to go to court.
Here’s how it typically works:
- You file an application at your local family court.
- Your spouse is served with the documents.
- If they don’t respond, the court may proceed without them (called a “default judgment”).
- If they do respond, the process can move toward a negotiated or court-ordered resolution.
Is it ideal? Not always. But it’s better than staying stuck — and it shows the law is still on your side.
Let’s Talk About Delays and Stonewalling
Sometimes the issue isn’t outright refusal — it’s endless delay. They “need more time.” They “have to think about it.” They ghost. They “forgot.”
If this is happening, a few things can help:
- Set firm timelines (with your lawyer’s help).
- Keep all communication in writing.
- Have a lawyer send a formal demand letter — this often snaps things into gear.
- Consider court action if they’re intentionally trying to wear you down.
Dragging things out can be a form of control — especially in emotionally charged separations. You’re allowed to push back.
Can You Still Get Divorced Without a Signed Agreement?
Yes. In Ontario, you can apply for divorce even if there’s no signed separation agreement.
All you need is:
- A valid marriage certificate
- Proof of living “separate and apart” for at least one year
- A properly filed application with the court
That said, the court won’t grant a divorce if key support issues (especially child support) aren’t resolved. So while you don’t need a signed agreement, you do need to address your legal responsibilities.
That’s where lawyers — or judges — come in.
Common Questions About Separation Agreements in Ontario
Q: Can I force my spouse to sign a separation agreement?
No — it has to be voluntary. But you can use court to resolve the issues and get enforceable orders.
Q: What if they say they’ll never sign anything?
Then it’s time to stop waiting. You don’t need their permission to apply for parenting orders, support, or property division.
Q: What happens if they sign under pressure?
If a separation agreement is signed under duress or without legal advice, it may not hold up in court. Fairness matters.
Q: Can I draft an agreement without a lawyer?
You can — but it’s risky. Agreements not reviewed by lawyers are easier to challenge later. Most people at least get independent legal advice (ILA) before signing.
Q: Will court make everything worse?
Not necessarily. For some people, it’s the only way to move forward. A good family lawyer can help keep things calm and focused.
Bottom Line: You Don’t Need to Stay Stuck
If your spouse won’t sign a separation agreement in Ontario, it doesn’t mean you’re trapped. It doesn’t mean you’ll never move on. And it definitely doesn’t mean you’re powerless.
Yes, separation works best when both people participate — but Ontario’s family law system is designed to protect both parties, even when things aren’t mutual.
You can take action. You can get clarity. And you can find support — legal, emotional, practical — to help you move forward, one steady step at a time.
This article provides general information, not legal advice. Contact us today if you want to speak to a divorce lawyer.
Useful Links:
Family court website
Government website
Child support agreements
Parenting arrangements
Spousal support
Dividing property
Contact Us
Pricing
Free Consultation
Separation Agreements
Separation Agreement Ontario